The Next One Night Stand

The Next One Night Stand

Hi Guys

Plans for the next One Night Stand are in the pipeline, and ideas have started forming in my pretty little head.
The general plan is that it will take place on Saturday 26 August. Payday weekend, Saturday Night, and very importantly –
the weather will be improving. The guests at this One will be a little different to last time. We’re going back to what it was
when we started – Invitation only,

Only the people who are in it for a good time, and the love of quality House Music. No posers, no faders, no fakers.

I’ve tried to remember everyone, but if I have left anyone off, please send me their names rather than forwarding this mail
on to them as I’d like to keep it to about 80 people. More than that and it gets a bit tough to manage the night (or maybe day?) economically.

I’ll try as far as possible to ensure that there is no cover charge, but in the event that there is one, it’ll be tiny – all we want to
do is cover costs and have a good time.

If you feel like you wanna lend a hand with some thing, or thought of something that would be cool at the party (like fresh, scented
towels in the bathroom), drop me a mail and we can make it happen.

Till next time (which should be your invitation)

Keep well and party hard

Save your mouth for Mentos, save yourself after…

Ok, so the clip below may not make that much sense if you havn’t watched THIS on first. It’s an absolute classic, and quite frankly close to being beyond belief.

The Extreme Diet Coke & Mentos Experiments:

What happens when you combine 200 liters of Diet Coke and over 500 Mentos mints? It’s amazing and completely insane.

The first part of this video demonstrates a simple geyser, and the second part shows just how extreme it can get. Over one hundred jets of soda fly into the air in less than three minutes.

It’s a hysterical and spectacular mint-powered version of the Bellagio Fountains in Las Vegas, brought to you by the mad scientists at

You Are Here: And there’s no way you’re leaving.

Hi. So it’s been a while since the last ‘actual’ news letter and for this I blame the 24/7 rule. Huh? Well, that would be the rule that says that there are only 24 hours in any given day, 7 out of 7. No exceptions. Now as any reasonable human being knows, this is way too few hours to be any good to anyone. As a consequence I haven’t been able to sit down for a long enough time period to actually get this done.
Another reason I haven’t had time is my addictive personality. I get very easily sidetracked by things, especially techy things and once I’m in, it’s a long way till I get back out. Lately I’ve been obsessed with learning how Search Engine and Email Marketing work, and as a result have read nearly every article available online. In addition to that I’ve decided to rebuild the One Night Stand web page.
For those of you who don’t know, One Night Stand is the guise under which my (supposedly) monthly parties are held. The current site was built while I was juuuust getting to grips with web design and now that I’ve learned a bit more I’ll be redoing the whole thing. This is taking a bit of time, as I’m planning on doing it ina new programming language which I’m still busy learning. That would be a programming language, not French.
The next few One Night Stand parties are also taking shape in the background with One planned soon (hopefully for my birthday next week, a slightly larger event happening in July and another, bigger (ok -huuuuuuuge) party scheduled to go down in August (hint – Craig de Sousa). All these things have conspired to keep me away from relaying the latest ramblings coursing through my brain to you.
Last week was Damien’s birthday, and to celebrate the boys went down to the Cape Town Fish Market for a night of Sushi and Saki. As it turned out, Damien was the only one who likes the Sushi, but since it was his birthday he decided that dit maki saki. The rest of us had steak.

It would seem that this week there is no hidden meaning or life lesson encapsulated within the newsletter you’ve come to know and dislike. It’s more of a catch-up than anything really. Just a hi and hello to let you know that yes, I did forget about you, but not for that long really. Eventually you did find your way back to the front of my mind, or the back of my inbox.

As I’m typing this I’m thinking that maybe I should go home, get some sleep and give this another try later tonight. As a funny, witty and informative newsletter – this edition sucks. So till later then,


You are here: And Saturday Night fever Rocks!

Yes, this is your newsletter. Yes, I know that its late. And Yes – Its a goodie :)Well at least I think it is. And why pray tell would I venture something so vain? Well read on and find out. Today you’ll hear about my weekend, my brain fart right idea and my not so bright idea. Sounds like the opening to soapie, but don’t worry – you feature in the soapie too.

Date: this morning (duh)
Time: 8:15am
Venue: My desk

First I need to get the formalities out of the way. Belated Happy birthday wishes to Jill from those of us who forgot (you know who you are you dodgy bastards) and thanks for a wikid party from those of us who were there. Also a hello and welcome back to Tara, my favourite and only Australian friend whose back from down south (Australia, not Plumstead)after a bit of a break. Last and quite possibly least of all are birthday wishes to Will-I-am, or as many of you know him, the FunGuy. The Least man celebrated his small day on the 17th. There, all done.
Now – the weekend. This weekend past actually started on Thursday night for me. The usual Thursday night game of pool with the boys place on Wednesday last week thanks to the Least man’s birthday, so I decided that Thursday night was a good nigh for a movie.Alone. Alone? But Why? Frankly, its cos no-one else wanted to watch Mission Imposible with me. (which I might add is the same reason I STILL haven’t seen the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (down College rd, right at the robots, just opposite the garage))
MI3 was fun, just enough of a plot to keep you there, plenty of Skop, Skiet and Donder and just a smidgen of eye candy to round off the package. All in all it was worth my 16 bucks.
Friday was a useless day all round. Groggy, moody, unproductive and tired. Plain useless, so all I did that night was fall asleep.
Saturday was Jill’s big day, which involved allot of driving, and walking, and waiting and ultimately allot of fun. The decor in the hall was super 70’s stylin and it was nice to see peeps dress up for the occasion. Nick Burkby, Rhodes House’s resident DJ laid down a thick slab of funk to which we all got down and the after party went down at my Casa, with some hilarious antics ensuing (isn’t that right Abie?) So that’s the weekend.Now for my brain fart.
In addition to this blog, I also maintain the One Night Stand website ( and 3 or four others. Now I’m starting a new one called What is it? Well its a place for all of us to load our party pics, regardless of where the party took place, cos lets face it. Good parties aren’t limited to Long street, so why should they be the only ones with their pics online? I’m not entirely sure of the mechanics at the moment, but I think it’ll work like an online photo album, you send me the pics along with the party details and I’ll create the album, add the info and then post the pics online for all the world to see. Or at least for you too see.
It’s moving towards 9 o clock now, and I need to get some work done. That means you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to hear my latest bad idea. If any of you has any feedback, drop me a mail and let me know. Gotta run,



Found this really cool clip of my current favourite comedian. Enjoy :)

Russell Peters – Asians


The Net is a funny place

Tara was good enough to send us this funny excerpt that she stumbled on while wasting time browsing mindless sites. In truth, I’m a little jealous cos I never find cool things like this when I waste my time browsing mindless sites…

Time machine for sale – – New Zealand…

Current bid: $11.52 |
Unfinished project.

Started making a machine to facillitate time travel,
unfortunately I just dont have the time to complete
Have had mixed results, so no guarantees.
Would suit DIY handyman with quantum physics
background or similar intersest.
No time wasters please !
Would consider swap for anti-gravity machine

Ask the seller a question
Do you have the flux capacitor to go with this? I can’t see it in the
photo.. posted by:

This model does not use a flux capacitor to reduce the time dilation
effect. Are you sure you know what you are doing ?

Does this run on mains? What’s the reserve? What will postage be to
Palmerston North? posted by: izzy_dude

The machine can be self powered if you can find a source of Uranium
235. Alternatively it can run of mains power supply. Postage
anywhere in NZ, anytime $5

haha. great stuff. +bids+ posted by: westyandseven

haha. If its so great why arent you bidding ?

I’ve got a space continuum transfunctioner. Would you consider
swaping it for that? It’s a bit rough and ready and blows a little bule
smoke but appears to be running ok. posted by: allmypukunui

space continuum transfunctioners are old school. I used to have one
and it blew blue smoke too, just before it blew up. Get rid of it now.

I’d like to go back & see my Great Uncle Rodney when he was 18
because he skulled a jug of beer in only 3.2 seconds & I’d certainly
like to see that! I’m pretty sure that I have the necessary skills to
complete the project too. I got a C+ in 4th form Science & two sticky
red stars. posted by: mrshin

Certainly an event worthy of time travel. And if any one can get this
puppy working, its you – with your fancy two red stars, and forth form

Will this machine be capable of going forwards as well as backwards it
time. I built one in 2052 that only went backwards and I haven’t been
able to get back to my time. I need one that can go boths ways so I
can come back to this time to feed the cat I have. posted by: jd10 (

interesting dilema, but simply answered by the formula : dt = dt’ . (1
– v²/c²)1/2 which i have designed the device around, in theory past
and future travel should be possible. I have sympathy for you and
your cat, but when amateurs play with time travel this is what

i looove it… its a master piece in progress ;p posted by: moooona

this is not a piece of conceptual art. it is a very serious quantum level
time travelling device – well would be if it worked.

Does it have fast forward, rewind and pause? posted by: izzy_dude

Time is a little more complicated than fast forwarding, rewinding and
pause. The time reference dilator is capable of such functions but the
theory behind it is somewhat unproven. It does have an eject button
if thats any help ?

Here’s a curly question… If I traveled back in time to when I was ten
years old, do you think it would be illegal for me to fondle my younger
self? posted by: absolut

in a court of law i believe what you are describing would be classed as
Self pleasure, or perhaps self abuse Either way both are perfectly
legal no matter what the age. If you were caught they would have
issues proving it via DNA anyway

Back in ’82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. Would
this machine be able to take me back in time so I could take
State? p

you need to give up on your glory years, and live for the now. A
quarter mile is pretty impressive though, is that for real ?

Does the eftpos machine work on Pre-pay time credits or pay as you
travel? posted by: steve

i see you have mistaken the time defliberator for an old eftpos
machine. Easy mistake for beginners to time travel to make, they do
look similar.

If I am successful with my bid, do you think there is sufficient grunt in
the machine to go back to the beginning of this auction, wipe out all
memory of it, so I don’t have to pay you. posted by: bubbs29

if the auction dosnt take place, you would never have the time
machine, so you would be stuck in the past, with no machine to get
back to the present. time is a dangerous thing to play with, and you
really need to carefully consider the consequences, before you start
mucking with the past, and breaching time continuation

I have half of my cheese and tomato sandwich left from lunch, would
you consider a trade? posted by: adamstar

What kind of dressing ?

You Are Here – Lester Hein’s blog

You Are Here – Lester Hein’s blog

You are here: Still waiting for the newsletter

For those of you who haven’t noticed, this week’s newsletter hasn’t been posted yet. It’s been a bit of a jam packed week,and i haven’t had any time to get it done.
if all goes according to plan, I’ll have it by tonight and you’ll have it by the morning. But thenytou know how I am with plans…

The cartoon below is courtesy of lameez ( ). It’s particularly relevant to this newsletter. If you dont know why, then we clearly don’t see enough of each other.

If you do get it, then screw you buddy. It’s not that bad.

Anyway, cheers till tomorrow.


The new Old Mutual Bank

Like you, I’ve been seeing the Old Mutual as with the woman who shops too much and pays too much in bank charges all the time. So i thought I’d giove Old Mutual a call and find out what the service entailed.

the deal is that you pay the fixed monthly cost of R85, for which you get

* Free Debit Orders, stop Order and transfers
* Free POS transactions – that’s when you swipe your debit card at the till to pay
* Free EFT – when you pay someone electronically (EFT = Electronic Funds Transfer)
* 4 Free ATM withdrawals a month
* 1 free Cash withdrawal (Not sure quite sure, but I think they mean from within the branch).
* Free Balance retrieval
* Free bank statements.
* No annual card fees
* Free Digital (internet) and telephone banking.

Old Mutual Bank is a division of Nedbank, so you’d use a NedBank ATM. The only thing that sorta bothers me is that there aren’t many ATMs around, unlike ABSA which sticks one up every 15.058 metres.

I for one have signed up for an account as I pay ABSA waaaay too much every month for them using my money.

If any of you guys do open an account with them, let the rest of know what your experiences are like.

Thats all for today, the newsletter will be out tomorrow.


The Black and White Edition

” Insight is not a lightbulb that goes off inside our heads. It is a flickering candle that can easily be snuffed out”

Riiiiiight. So its going to be one of those editions eh? One where he yaps on and on about deep stuff. Again. Weeell, then lets at least hope he’s funny while he does it :)

Most of you that know me, know that I consume literature at what might be called a ravenous rate. If you didn’t know that, you can tell by the fact that I say pompous things like “consuming literature” and “ravenous” instead of saying I like to read alot. Anyway, I’m reading a book called “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell, which is where the quote is from. The book is all about making snap judgments in a fraction of a second. About the power and the pitfalls, and the different ways that we process information to be used to make those judgments. I for one thought that I was pretty slick, what with me making those all the time. Forget thinking twice, I barely think once. And then go on to assume that I’m always right. Bright, huh?
Anyhow, reading this book made me realize that I do in fact make a lot of incorrect snap judgments. Especially about people. I think we all do. But then we also

a) Hate to admit that we do it, cos its ‘wrong’


b) Hate to admit when we do it wrong.

This letter is about as close to an apology as its going to get from me, to all the people who I’ve made snap decisions about. You may be one of them. You may have made the same snap judgments about me and thought – “What a doos” and it’s ok. I now understand. And if you did think “what a doos”. Well – then I say “You’re a doos too.” Ooops, sorry – I meant to say “that’s ok”
This apology is meant in particular for a very tall person, who I had decided I don’t like very much. Just, you know, made up my mind about them. They then proceeded to completely bollocks up my whole plan by actually being a nice person. To the point where, despite my trying not to, we got along. Dammit. So I’m sorry. If you have no idea what the hell I’m yapping on about, then its not you I’m talking about then is it? And if the person who this is meant for doesn’t get it, well then you don’t deserve the apology. Anyone confused yet? Good.

Why the Black and White edition? Well, cos the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I think about things in very Yes or No terms. Either in or your out. With me or against me. Black or White. This type of thinking is very useful if you’re saaay….a packet of smarties. You’re either in the box or not. But not very useful for everyday life. I’m surprised I haven’t had the sh*t smacked out of me more often! By someone other than Jill I mean. Or my mother. Or my grand mother. You get the point.

So my task for this week is to look at things with a little more insight. Take time to see that big blob of gray wedged between the monochrome. And who knows, maybe next week its you I’ll be apologizing to. Oh, and for those who are interested : The no smoking and no drinking thing is going well. I fell healthy to the point where its annoying and my budgets been lightened. Alot. I did fumble ever so slightly on Saturday at Geo’s (cool) 21st by having a glass of Red Wine, but then the doc did say that red wine was good for me.

So this week, be nice person. Do the right. Be a man. Or a woman. Write mindless drivel like this and see how long it takes everyone to realize that the previous sentence had nothing to do with anything. And look for that dollop of grey in and amongst all the whack and blight.

Cheers till next time.