The Net is a funny place

Tara was good enough to send us this funny excerpt that she stumbled on while wasting time browsing mindless sites. In truth, I’m a little jealous cos I never find cool things like this when I waste my time browsing mindless sites…

Time machine for sale – – New Zealand…

Current bid: $11.52 |
Unfinished project.

Started making a machine to facillitate time travel,
unfortunately I just dont have the time to complete
Have had mixed results, so no guarantees.
Would suit DIY handyman with quantum physics
background or similar intersest.
No time wasters please !
Would consider swap for anti-gravity machine

Ask the seller a question
Do you have the flux capacitor to go with this? I can’t see it in the
photo.. posted by:

This model does not use a flux capacitor to reduce the time dilation
effect. Are you sure you know what you are doing ?

Does this run on mains? What’s the reserve? What will postage be to
Palmerston North? posted by: izzy_dude

The machine can be self powered if you can find a source of Uranium
235. Alternatively it can run of mains power supply. Postage
anywhere in NZ, anytime $5

haha. great stuff. +bids+ posted by: westyandseven

haha. If its so great why arent you bidding ?

I’ve got a space continuum transfunctioner. Would you consider
swaping it for that? It’s a bit rough and ready and blows a little bule
smoke but appears to be running ok. posted by: allmypukunui

space continuum transfunctioners are old school. I used to have one
and it blew blue smoke too, just before it blew up. Get rid of it now.

I’d like to go back & see my Great Uncle Rodney when he was 18
because he skulled a jug of beer in only 3.2 seconds & I’d certainly
like to see that! I’m pretty sure that I have the necessary skills to
complete the project too. I got a C+ in 4th form Science & two sticky
red stars. posted by: mrshin

Certainly an event worthy of time travel. And if any one can get this
puppy working, its you – with your fancy two red stars, and forth form

Will this machine be capable of going forwards as well as backwards it
time. I built one in 2052 that only went backwards and I haven’t been
able to get back to my time. I need one that can go boths ways so I
can come back to this time to feed the cat I have. posted by: jd10 (

interesting dilema, but simply answered by the formula : dt = dt’ . (1
– v²/c²)1/2 which i have designed the device around, in theory past
and future travel should be possible. I have sympathy for you and
your cat, but when amateurs play with time travel this is what

i looove it… its a master piece in progress ;p posted by: moooona

this is not a piece of conceptual art. it is a very serious quantum level
time travelling device – well would be if it worked.

Does it have fast forward, rewind and pause? posted by: izzy_dude

Time is a little more complicated than fast forwarding, rewinding and
pause. The time reference dilator is capable of such functions but the
theory behind it is somewhat unproven. It does have an eject button
if thats any help ?

Here’s a curly question… If I traveled back in time to when I was ten
years old, do you think it would be illegal for me to fondle my younger
self? posted by: absolut

in a court of law i believe what you are describing would be classed as
Self pleasure, or perhaps self abuse Either way both are perfectly
legal no matter what the age. If you were caught they would have
issues proving it via DNA anyway

Back in ’82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. Would
this machine be able to take me back in time so I could take
State? p

you need to give up on your glory years, and live for the now. A
quarter mile is pretty impressive though, is that for real ?

Does the eftpos machine work on Pre-pay time credits or pay as you
travel? posted by: steve

i see you have mistaken the time defliberator for an old eftpos
machine. Easy mistake for beginners to time travel to make, they do
look similar.

If I am successful with my bid, do you think there is sufficient grunt in
the machine to go back to the beginning of this auction, wipe out all
memory of it, so I don’t have to pay you. posted by: bubbs29

if the auction dosnt take place, you would never have the time
machine, so you would be stuck in the past, with no machine to get
back to the present. time is a dangerous thing to play with, and you
really need to carefully consider the consequences, before you start
mucking with the past, and breaching time continuation

I have half of my cheese and tomato sandwich left from lunch, would
you consider a trade? posted by: adamstar

What kind of dressing ?

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Hi, my name is Lester. I'm a music lover, an avid blogger and a bit of a geek. In addition to being a people person, I'm fascinated by the internet and over the last 4 years I've become very passionate about technology, especially email marketing, blogging, social media, and community management. Thanks for reading my blog ;)